i am a disaster. this is the fact of life, i am forced to live into, there is no used in fighting the reality, just a mere acceptance will lessen the burden of this annoyingly difficult situation. you can either lived in entire denial or try to stand, cope up and eventually escape this terrible realm.

after all these years i think its time for me to amend with myself by picking up the mess and cleaning up my act! but a simple question always remains... HOW? the past monstrous year had left me limping with the excruciating pain of disappointments and failures.  i was left paralyze to the insidious consequences of my failed attempts to correct what was done.

"i am a failure" a frequent cringe that beats on and on, keeping my life still in darkness and binge with emptiness.

i cry for help.. someone who would offer a hand to help me escape this terrible world. for with out it i only see one escape.. a solution offering freedom, the angst of the earth will never reach me.. i am immersible...

a life that no one cares deserves this horrendous end, its wickedly painful but utterly gratifying. for i see freedom and smell silence..

this is my last ho rah..  i close my eyes, whispered a silent prayer and smiled.. This Is It... i bid my goodbyes and then it ends.


la mort est la réponse

--- gena